


Lightwood Love

by Purema



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Feelings, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, How Do I Tag, Immortality Issues (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Violence, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, Lets make everyone suffer emotionally, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane is a Little Shit, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, but in a sweet way, implied major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26255401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purema/pseuds/Purema
Summary: 1: Magnus finds a way to make Alec immortal but Alec is 82 years old.Magnus knows what it means.2: Magnus is offered Alec's immortality, again and again and again. Until it isn't.This will be a collection of independent oneshots.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Angels Belong To Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finds a way to make Alec immortal but Alec is 82 years old.

Magnus finds a way to make Alec immortal but Alec is 82 years old. 

He looks in the love filled eyes, young to him but old to their owner and knows he will be left alone again.  
This time Magnus hates it how he understands the choice. 

Alexander did choose to stay, as long as he could, even though the man had at a point decided he wouldn't make it past sixty - for Magnus. Magnus is grateful beyond belief he managed to make Alexander think differently and give him more than twenty more years by now.

Magnus holds tightly to the letter he just red aloud describing the immortality spell and stares at Alec, both of their eyes already teary. 

Alec has given his all to Magnus already and by now there's no request the warlock could make.  
Alec smiles at him warmly and wipes a tear away from his husbands cheek. He knows.

Magnus wonders how many decades too late the solution came to them. Thirty, twenty...ten? Alec is the most selfless person Magnus knows...he doesn't ask.

They embrace, the letter drops to the floor from Magnus' hand and he can't breath.

"My angel." Magnus gasps through his tears and Alexander holds him tighter.


	2. You Are Not That Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is offered Alec's immortality, again and again and again.  
> Until it isn't.

Alec is 23 when Magnus is offered Alec's immortality.  
He says no and Alec never gets to know.

Alec is 25 when he is offered again. Magnus still says no, and this time Alec is there to hear it.  
It's hard for a while between them after that and for months it's like something has been carved out of the shadowhunter. Magnus catches himself being stared at often with sad unseeing eyes and feels sick, yet not regretful.  
Then one day, Alec seems to resign himself to something, something Magnus pretends he doesn't know about. Alec starts smiling more again, holding him longer.  
Magnus feels sick again for he knows acceptance when he sees it.

On Alecs 30th birthday party Isabelle comes to him with a drink and a disappointed yet resigned expression on her beautiful face. It's an reoccurring look on the Lightwoods, which is weird since they are a stubborn bunch and get stuff done.

"You know, most shadowhunters don't make it to 40."

Magnus feels cold inside, swallows with difficulty.

"Your parents are still going strong, Lightwood genes seem to be great. And clave members, half of them are ancient." says Magnus, grasping for casualty and lightheartedness that isn't there. It never was there.

"Only power greedy shodowhunters who get into politics survive. Others die on missions harder and riskier by the year. It's about honor, supposedly, of the eldest serving the greatest sacrifices but it's likely more about purification of the workforce. Getting the used ones out with a flare and purpose."

Magnus knows all of this. The brutalities of their traditions, the cruelty towards their own. It's one of the reasons he has tried to stay away from shadowhunters for centuries.

"Alec is looking for a candidate to be his successor as the head of the institute."

Magnus turns to look at her with a frown.

"He has made changes as the head of the institute and has great plans for the clave and the downworld relations for the next five years. Tomorrow he will start a new period as the head and he will do his utmost to give you what you need and to ensure the progress continues. He will likely ask you soon who would be potentially good candidate to be trained as the future clave official for him. It means who could take over him and keep working for your goals."

Izzy is looking at the dark city skyline.

"Alec is starting his last period as the head. He won't go for the politics career for years to come. Instead he is planning to return to the system that created him. He will return to the field."

Izzy turns to look at him, expressionless.

"Until then he will do his all for you, but Alec is not planning to see his 40th birthday.  
He has been brought up to serve and sacrifice and that he will do. But he is also a lover and he will not withhold mercy. Alec is going to end himself with the help of the clave after he is sure the world is evolving the way you need, to save you the pain of watching him get old. So you can give your attention to the downworld and move on."

Magnus can't breathe. Izzy doesn't see that, or perhaps doesn't care so she continues to tear at Magnus' heart.

"I can't even talk him out of it because he's never been this happy. You are his everything. You chose to say goodbye, to save both of you from heartache I assume. He has chosen the same."

"Do you judge me for it?" Magnus croaks out with a strangled voice.

Isabelle looks at him calmly for a while before responding.

"No. I don't blame you. I'm just sad that the most loving of shadowhunters could not be saved by love. We are a condemned bunch, and our ends would have been the same anyway, if we had never met you.  
Just please...Alec puts his heart and soul to this change. Don't let it die with him, even if the rest of us take steps back."

"If I was offered Alec's immortality now, I would take it. " Magnus whispers.

Izzy tsks.

"I love you Magnus but I don't believe that for a second. You are still one of the best things to happen to us in our sorry predesignated lives. I hope you will make this world tremble for centuries to come."

"I'm serious, Isabelle." says Magnus, terrified of her certainty.

The woman looks at him and sets her empty glass down.

"You are not that brave, Magnus."


	3. Congratulations, Mr Bane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation between Izzy and Magnus after Magnus breaks things off with Alec.  
> (Or basically Izzy's power monologue.)

”You need to learn how deep his love is, Magnus. You need to.” Said Isabelle with tears in her eyes shocking the wizard momentarily into silence.

“Alec might never have been in a relationship but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to care or how to take care of others. You have met our parents, as caring as they are. You have seen their worst side but imagine being raised by them – there’s not that much warmth to be spread in their mindset, nor in the halls we grew up in. Me and Jace are Alec’s creations.  
I’m a shadowhunter, a Lightwood at that and you are a wizard yet I’m your friend – that’s Alec’s openness taught to my heart.   
Alec has devoted his whole life to family, to us. He is stuck to rules and can seem and act cold but that’s because he is the eldest Lightwood – and that matters. 

That means expectations and honor bound childhood, one that me and Jace did not have, not even close to the extent he did. Alec stood there between his parents and younger siblings for years, he still does. He took the burden of the institute, forced it to feel like an achievement worth everything to gain our parents’ respect and attention. And Alec does care about his work because now he can make a difference but he started it all so _we wouldn’t have to._ It’s Alec who took care of us when we were sick, cooked for us when it became clear no adult was coming home for the night, he saved Jace from all his stupid escapades and soothed my nightmares. He is Jace’s parabatai and my world. That doesn’t happen by chance. 

He kept going and he kept sane for us. If Alec wants you to be part of his family then you will get his everything, Magnus. To Alec, family is everything, even when it has only meant burden and responsibilities he was not supposed to carry. My brother never wants anything for himself…but he wants you.

There was enough change in him to pass it to his siblings, pass it to his work – there’s potential for so much more. Alec isn’t perfect but he is a miracle already, a selfless one who cares for you deeply. If you want something of him – ask. No matter how unbelievable it might feel like at the moment he might very well give it to you, because you are family and he will do his damnest to serve if his family needs something of him. 

Why do you look so scared? He left it to the last minute but he kissed you in front of every single most important person in his life on his own supposed wedding day. He is single-handedly pushing for real positive change in the relations of us and the downworlders and you know he will continue to push it until it happens even if you shatter his heart to pieces. He is challenging the Clave from a high position in the heart of the system, from the position he has earned. He is capable of loving, changing and making change happen. Magnus, he will give you everything and forgive you for anything but leaving.”

“Why is leaving the one issue, if the one who has left comes back?” Magnus whispered. He felt like he had no room in their shared space. It was all Isabelle and it was crushing him.

“Because family is unconditional and by leaving you will show his care is not wanted or not enough. He will take you back Magnus, that I am sure of. But he will never think himself having a chance to be worthy of you again. He will wait for you to leave again when something better comes by. You will be cared for but you won’t be family.”

“You seem so sure he would take me back.”

Isabelle looked at Magnus with pity. 

“Magnus, Alec loves you more than you love him. You gave him hope of having love and happiness, a glimpse of something he never thought possible. Even if you walk away with it Alec will cherish you for giving that to him even for a moment. That’s all I need to know to also know he will sacrifice his happiness for you just as he has done for us time and time again.”

“He doesn’t love me more – that’s an absurd trying to-“

“You chose the downworld and its people. None of us would judge you for that, especially Alec. Yet he would have left the institute and defied the clave if you needed him to – he would have faced de-runing. It was never a question; it was a fact. But it was reduced to a question in your hands, a question left unspoken. You didn’t trust Alec after all and that’s that.”

“It’s not an issue of trust.”

“Of course it is. It’s the first time Alec’s love hasn’t been enough and has been rejected for that. I imagine from now on you will get the version of care he has for our parents – the one where he has methods to handle constant rejections. You will have an unbelievably loyal, competent and meticulous ally in their quest to serve you. You will get what you need without an expectation of gratitude or warmth. Welcome to the circle of professional love of the Lightwood family. Play your cards right and you might still go past Maryse when it comes to intimacy.” Isabelle finished with a sardonic smile. 

“You sound so bitter, Isabelle. One could think you don’t believe in love.” said Magnus, trying for humor when his plan to charm his way out left him breathless in his failure. His heart was hurting and this time there was no one but himself to blame.

Isabelle laughed coldly. 

“Not all of us are immortal, Magnus. Believing in unfounded things costs time, resources and lives. I believe in love when I experience it and I haven’t been proven that you are capable of loving. Don’t recount me any stories, Magnus. You know I care about you and admire your well-played arrogance but this is about my brother. No part of your history you could tell me is worth his future.”

They stare at each other in silence, Magnus choking on it and Isabelle bristling with it.

“Magnus…shadowhunters love only once. I would not be surprised if my brother thinks he got his share of love already. If you want him back you need to work hard to make him think you are not leaving any moment. You need to commit to it or it will destroy him.  
If that’s not something you are willing to do then only go to him for bow and arrows or for negotiating political change. Anything in between and you will find two seraph blades constantly ready for you, for Alec has taught me and Jace what family is and isn’t and how it is protected. We are fully prepared to be a hindrance for your cause if it’s the only way to take care of him.”

Magnus could tell by looking at her eyes she was serious and sure of her success. Isabelle fully supported making the relationship between the downworld and the shadowhunters better, she knew it was the right thing to do.

She also didn’t care what the right thing was if it could harm Alexander.

She was a Lightwood too, she knew these halls and the games played in them. Mortal or not, her name tarnished or not she still had power and she knew how to use it.

Magnus did not question her ability to slow down the changing of their worlds if she needed to.

He had made powerful allies in the Lightwoods and Izzy had just set the rules of keeping them or making powerful enemies.

Magnus had lived centuries and was very powerful and time seemed to drag most of the time. On moments like these someone would always put him down from the clouds and show how powerless to some things he was, and time seemed to fly past him.

Magnus looked up into the cold yet passionate eyes.

The next time he saw them on a different Lightwood, on Alexander’s face across a conference table. 

Alexander was pushing for better relations harder than ever, colder, bolder and demanding. He was the leader of the institute determined to make the clave tremble. He was the change Magnus had not dared to dream of and a broken heart had not broken his sense of justice, a thought Magnus was ashamed of ever having entertained.

Alec called him Mr Bane – for Alec was aware he was everything Magnus had ever wanted - when it came to politics. 

“Congratulations, Mr Bane.” Alexander would tell him after every breakthrough they made for years to come. 

Magnus tends to have those words ringing in his ears for hours afterwards. He sheds tears, but they are not for happiness as he would have thought not so long ago.

Izzy seems him like that, only once. She looks at his tear stained face and lets out a small sigh.

With a little shake of her heard she will mutter with a delicate and resigned voice;

“Congratulations, Mr Bane.”


End file.
